When a loss occurs, we feel its impact in every way. All that was once normal is no longer. Life as we knew it will never be the same again, and change is the one constant in life whether we like it or not.
Since Melanie ran ahead to heaven, I find that I’m a lot more averse to change. I used to be able to go with the flow – change was no big deal, but not so much anymore. I’m sure this is part of the fallout of being impacted by a traumatic and unexpected death. Have you found that you don’t handle change in quite the same way since experiencing loss? I try to keep change to a minimum, which I know is my way of being in control.
It’s good to remember that not all change is bad. However, even though change is the one constant in life, it doesn’t mean we will never have joy. There is a place where joy and sorrow will eventually live side by side.
We are all made so differently, aren’t we? I have several friends whom I fondly refer to as the “fly by the seat of my pants” friends. They know who they are, and I love that they can go with the flow of change. Nothing ruffles them. Some days, I wish I were more like them.
But God made me differently. I’m a planner. No flying by the seat of this girl’s pants! I’m not rigid and will leave room for spontaneity, but my comfort zone is having a general plan and schedule.
For most of 2023, I have been praying about making some major changes in my life. Since this isn’t my comfort zone, I’ve had plenty of time to anticipate some of these upcoming changes and even feel some of their impact.
After 14 years of working at an incredible company, I have decided to retire. Today is my last day. Choosing to do so wasn’t done lightly. As I’ve prayed about this for months, it further cemented the fact that change is the one constant in life.
Since Melanie’s death, change that explicitly involves saying goodbye to people has been difficult for me. Just thinking about it brings me to tears, but with the tears is confidence in knowing it’s time. Even when we know it’s the right thing to do, emotions still run high and that’s okay.
Yes, change is the one constant in life, but if we give it over to the Lord, the Holy Spirit will guide us, comfort us, and reassure us of our path. When it’s right, we know it.
All the changes I’ve walked through in the grief journey have helped prepare me for this day. Today, I’m grateful for change. I leave behind such beautiful memories and a grateful heart for working with amazing people, making lifelong friends, and being thankful for all the blessings in my life. I look forward to the new journey God has set before me.