Facing Your Giants

We celebrated our son’s birthday with our first family beach trip since Covid. He asked if we could go to Sanibel Island, a place we’ve been to several times over the years. It’s a lovely place to visit, yet the moment he asked to go there I felt a wave of anxiety wash over meContinue reading “Facing Your Giants”

Escaping the Noise: Run to the Father

There are days when I want to think about anything, other than grief. Some days I’m so weary of my own mind. My own thoughts on repeat: Missing. Death. Dying. Addiction. Loss. Wishing for a different outcome. Oh, how I want things to be normal again but what does that really mean anymore? Even ifContinue reading “Escaping the Noise: Run to the Father”

A Special Day: Hopes and Dreams

My post today is dedicated to my daughter, Melanie, on her 40th Birthday. The day a child is born is a day a parent never forgets. We remember it all. The hours of labor and all it takes to bring a child into this world. And finally, that last push when our child comes intoContinue reading “A Special Day: Hopes and Dreams”

The Chain-Breaker

As I was eating breakfast the song, Chain Breaker by Zach Williams came on. I was immediately taken back to a place about 2 years ago when I watched Melanie perform an interpretive dance routine to this song. The dance was part of her graduation after completing a very tough and rigorous, long-term rehab program.Continue reading “The Chain-Breaker”

The Anchor

I have close friends who are avid sailors.  They love going out on the water, feeling the rush of the wind through the sails and the warmth of the sun on their faces.  Sometimes they take friends with them.  As close as we are, I inwardly pray they never ask us to be their guests. Continue reading “The Anchor”

One Year Later: The Grief Journey – Remembering Melanie

Never forget. We are all familiar with this phrase as it represents 9/11, and a time of great tragedy and sorrow in our world. Well, one year ago today those two words took on a different and more personal meaning for me. It was a day of tragedy and sorrow. It was the day myContinue reading “One Year Later: The Grief Journey – Remembering Melanie”

Goodbye 2020: A Few Thoughts

I’m not a person who typically makes resolutions. Instead, my husband and I use this time of year as a time of reflection and planning for the new year. We take time to think about all that has happened over the course of the year, the places we have been, the things we have done,Continue reading “Goodbye 2020: A Few Thoughts”

The First Christmas

Here we are in this “Year of Firsts” getting ready to experience Christmas without Melanie. Have I ever had a Christmas without Melanie? Unfortunately, yes. We experienced several without her but this one will be entirely different. During those times when we could not celebrate together we would always speak by phone and visit onContinue reading “The First Christmas”

Self-Care or Selfish?

As is typical of most women and especially mothers, we are always running around taking care of everyone else.  We have many roles and juggle so many things I think we could easily work for Barnum & Bailey!  Cook.  Taxi driver.  Social director.  Wife.  Mother.  Lover.  Friend.  Teacher.  Nurse.  Cleaning lady.  The list goes onContinue reading “Self-Care or Selfish?”

The Return of the Mask

When Melanie went to heaven I stepped out in faith and removed the mask I’d been wearing for many years. It was a giant step for me, but it was one full of fear. Fear of being judged. Fear of being shunned. Fear of tarnishing her memory. Fear of just about everything. At the timeContinue reading “The Return of the Mask”

Speak Life

Isn’t it amazing how one of the smallest parts of our body is both the strongest and the deadliest. Some may think it’s the heart, or perhaps the lungs. Those certainly are major parts of our body that give us life and strength, but it is not the part I am referring to. The smallestContinue reading “Speak Life”

Can We Have A Retake?

This week I received an email from my son’s school reminding us of the date we could retake this year’s school picture.  It got me thinking.  A retake. A do over.  How awesome would it be if we could manage life’s challenges in such a simplistic way? Recently a friend asked if I relived theContinue reading “Can We Have A Retake?”

Dry Bones Rattle

Yesterday marked eight months since Melanie went on to heaven. As each month passes by, I find myself taking 3 steps forward then 2 steps back.  It’s a dance I play with myself.  Oh, there are days I’m feeling strong and healthy.  Then there are those days when I feel nothing.  Broken.  Empty.  Dry BonesContinue reading “Dry Bones Rattle”

Ashes and Grace

Questions, questions, and more questions!  I’ve had plenty of them since Melanie went to heaven.  “Is this it? Is this the end of her story?  Am I supposed to be filled with this sadness and grief for the rest of my life? Is this what’s become of me? What now? Surely, there must be someContinue reading “Ashes and Grace”

A Broken Vessel

It’s been said you cannot draw from an empty vessel. True words, my friends! No matter what our specific story, if you’re on this grief journey you are sure to find yourself feeling broken. I’m still feeling a bit beaten up by my grief this week.  My mind understands how and why I’m feeling thisContinue reading “A Broken Vessel”