Grief: A Seesaw Journey

Yesterday marked 17 months since I was told Melanie was gone from this earth and I must admit, some days are still so darn hard. This grief journey reminds me of a seesaw, but without any of the fun we had as kids. There continue to be countless days when it all still seems soContinue reading “Grief: A Seesaw Journey”

The Second Year of Grief: Still Navigating the Waves

Everyone talks about the first year when you lose a loved one, and many often discuss getting through the “Year of Firsts” – the first birthday, the first Christmas, the first anniversary etc. It can leave you with a false sense that once you get through the firsts you will then be fine. That isContinue reading “The Second Year of Grief: Still Navigating the Waves”

Grieving with Hope

Recently, a friend and fellow warrior mom lost her second son to the insidious disease of addiction.  Oh, how my heart broke for her.  It is hard enough to lose one child, but two is unfathomable. Another longtime friend has been grieving the loss of her son for two long years. My heart breaks forContinue reading “Grieving with Hope”

Memories: A Bookbag Full of Lotion, Body Wash, and a Hairbrush

When our loved one dies all we have left of them is memories. And, memories come in many different forms. Sometimes it may be a special photo, which brings both smiles and tears. If you’re walking this grief journey alongside me you understand this double-edged sword. Perhaps like me you will never have a photoContinue reading “Memories: A Bookbag Full of Lotion, Body Wash, and a Hairbrush”

Navigating Memories When They Bring Both Comfort and Pain

I’m a member of a few private grief groups for parents who have lost children to Substance Use Disorder. These groups have hundreds of moms and dads with this same shared experience. We can be there to comfort one another and it helps knowing we are not alone. As you would imagine, although we shareContinue reading “Navigating Memories When They Bring Both Comfort and Pain”

One More Day with Your Loved One – What Would You Do Differently?

How many of us have wished for just one more day with our loved one? What would you do differently? How would you spend it? Were there things left unsaid? Or would you simply just hold one another and let the love in your heart fill in all the empty places within? This week aContinue reading “One More Day with Your Loved One – What Would You Do Differently?”

Life is a Journey – Not a Race

As some of you may know, I have been working on writing a book about my daughter and the grief journey I have found myself thrust into. I recently received the manuscript back from my editor and am in the process of completing the final updates and edits.  It’s been during this long process I’veContinue reading “Life is a Journey – Not a Race”

The Many Faces of Grief

Usually when we think of the word grief it implies a negative connotation, and quite honestly, I’m sure we can all understand why. Websters defines grief as, “deep and poignant distress.” During the early days of walking this grief journey I could think of nothing else other than the deep sadness and missing my daughter.Continue reading “The Many Faces of Grief”

When Does the Fallout End?

My Dad served in WW II.  After we visited Normandy and saw some of the area where these battles were fought in the trenches, I can better understand why he never wanted to talk about his time there. There are some days I feel a lot like my Dad. I feel like I’m on aContinue reading “When Does the Fallout End?”

Rebuilding From the Rubble

Recently a tornado ripped through a local neighborhood where we knew several families who had their homes destroyed. A few of the homes were decimated, but many others were left partially standing. There was something about seeing those homes that made me feel a strange sense of kinship with them. Since the death of myContinue reading “Rebuilding From the Rubble”

Facing Your Giants

We celebrated our son’s birthday with our first family beach trip since Covid. He asked if we could go to Sanibel Island, a place we’ve been to several times over the years. It’s a lovely place to visit, yet the moment he asked to go there I felt a wave of anxiety wash over meContinue reading “Facing Your Giants”

Escaping the Noise: Run to the Father

There are days when I want to think about anything, other than grief. Some days I’m so weary of my own mind. My own thoughts on repeat: Missing. Death. Dying. Addiction. Loss. Wishing for a different outcome. Oh, how I want things to be normal again but what does that really mean anymore? Even ifContinue reading “Escaping the Noise: Run to the Father”

A Special Day: Hopes and Dreams

My post today is dedicated to my daughter, Melanie, on her 40th Birthday. The day a child is born is a day a parent never forgets. We remember it all. The hours of labor and all it takes to bring a child into this world. And finally, that last push when our child comes intoContinue reading “A Special Day: Hopes and Dreams”

The Chain-Breaker

As I was eating breakfast the song, Chain Breaker by Zach Williams came on. I was immediately taken back to a place about 2 years ago when I watched Melanie perform an interpretive dance routine to this song. The dance was part of her graduation after completing a very tough and rigorous, long-term rehab program.Continue reading “The Chain-Breaker”

The Anchor

I have close friends who are avid sailors.  They love going out on the water, feeling the rush of the wind through the sails and the warmth of the sun on their faces.  Sometimes they take friends with them.  As close as we are, I inwardly pray they never ask us to be their guests. Continue reading “The Anchor”

The Other Shoe

I don’t know about you but I have found this to be so true. When my dad died in a tragic car accident I was just 17 yrs. old. It rocked my whole world. It brought on fear and anxiety about so many different things. I lived under the weight of that fear for yearsContinue reading “The Other Shoe”

Peace

In a world that can be wrought with heartache, sadness and difficulty I long for peace. I’ve traded the “Why’s” for acceptance, and place my trust in the one who holds all the answers. I continually keep my heart and eyes focused on what I can control – me! We cannot control others or whatContinue reading “Peace”

One Year Later: The Grief Journey – Remembering Melanie

Never forget. We are all familiar with this phrase as it represents 9/11, and a time of great tragedy and sorrow in our world. Well, one year ago today those two words took on a different and more personal meaning for me. It was a day of tragedy and sorrow. It was the day myContinue reading “One Year Later: The Grief Journey – Remembering Melanie”

Goodbye 2020: A Few Thoughts

I’m not a person who typically makes resolutions. Instead, my husband and I use this time of year as a time of reflection and planning for the new year. We take time to think about all that has happened over the course of the year, the places we have been, the things we have done,Continue reading “Goodbye 2020: A Few Thoughts”

The First Christmas

Here we are in this “Year of Firsts” getting ready to experience Christmas without Melanie. Have I ever had a Christmas without Melanie? Unfortunately, yes. We experienced several without her but this one will be entirely different. During those times when we could not celebrate together we would always speak by phone and visit onContinue reading “The First Christmas”

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