I’m not a person who typically makes resolutions. Instead, my husband and I use this time of year as a time of reflection and planning for the new year. We take time to think about all that has happened over the course of the year, the places we have been, the things we have done, and the many ways God has touched our lives. Even with all the difficulties and ups and downs this year has brought, we still have so very much to be thankful for.
For us, the year 2020 will always be remembered as the year we lost our daughter, Melanie, to the disease of addiction. We barely began the year and on February 19th she was gone. So, yes, it’s been a long year full of many twists and turns. There were some days as I walked this grief journey when the waves were like a tsunami that threatened to take me under. But my life and heart were long ago given to the Lord and I clung to him like the life preserver he was for me. I leaned into him, and never dared turn away. The day I received the news Melanie had gone to heaven I determined in my heart that I was not going to let this tragedy turn me away from my only hope – Jesus. You see, God’s promises are just as true when you’re on the mountain, as they are when you’re in the valley – especially in the valley! He promised to never leave me, nor forsake me and he hasn’t. He didn’t mean just through the easy times. His promise to “heal the brokenhearted and those who are crushed in spirit” has held true for me each day and particularly on those days when I lay in a heap on the floor weeping for the loss of my girl.
So, for this year, as we look at 2020 in our rearview mirror and kick it goodbye, I will focus on two things:
As a result of Melanie’s death, I am stronger than I was before. My spiritual muscle has been exercised in a way I never thought possible. Would l wish this road on anyone? Never! However, the love Jesus has shown me, at every turn, is unlike anything I have ever experienced in my lifetime. It is unfailing and it never ends.
I will also never forget how God has surrounded me and my family over the past 317 days. “He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge” (Psalm 91).
I pray God’s blessings and peace will surround you today and as you head into this new year. May 2021 find you closer to the one who can carry you through the waves of this crushing journey and may He touch your heart as never before 💜💜💜 Pat