Triggers: Reliving My Nightmare in Room 221

Recently I heard a local news report which involved the Medical Examiner who attended Melanie when she died. Apparently his parents and 19 year old son were murdered. Sadly he found them. Soon after hearing this I woke up in the middle of the night with a very heavy heart. There are still nights whenContinue reading “Triggers: Reliving My Nightmare in Room 221”

The Many Faces of Grief

A few weeks ago, I listened to a podcast featuring Rick & Kay Warren who talked about their son, Matthew, who took his life in 2013. I’ve heard Rick speak numerous times, but I had never heard Kay speak on the death of their child. If you have time, take a few minutes to listen.Continue reading “The Many Faces of Grief”

Dear Melanie: A Minute and An Eternity

My Dear Melanie, Two years ago today you ran ahead to heaven. It seems like a minute and an eternity all at the same time. Some have asked if it has become easier over time. I hesitate for only a moment, because truly how does it get easier when you lose a child? It neverContinue reading “Dear Melanie: A Minute and An Eternity”

Anxiety + Fear = Grief: Still Figuring Things Out

After Melanie died, life as I knew it came to a screeching halt. Today, I’m still figuring things out. This grief journey continues to teach me things. Although I hoped I’d be much further ahead by now, I guess I’ll always be learning something about this road I didn’t choose to be on. I’ve alwaysContinue reading “Anxiety + Fear = Grief: Still Figuring Things Out”

Honoring a Strong Woman

As I began to look ahead at my upcoming week I noticed on the calendar that one year ago, a dear and lovely friend, Mrs. Trudie Beach, went home to heaven.  I smiled as I began to think about her, when out of nowhere a question crossed my mind. Didn’t Mrs. B. lose a childContinue reading “Honoring a Strong Woman”

Time – Does it Really Heal All Wounds?

Have you ever had someone tell you, “Don’t worry. You’ll be okay. Time heals all wounds.” I have. It didn’t make me feel any better, and quite frankly I didn’t believe them. Does time really heal all wounds? Perhaps there is some type of healing over time, but it may not happen exactly in theContinue reading “Time – Does it Really Heal All Wounds?”

Stages of Grief: Grief Like An Earthquake

When Melanie first ran ahead to heaven my entire being was electrified.  Anxiety was at an all time high and any loud noise would startle me and I felt as though I’d literally jump out of my skin. It’s only been 16 months now, but as time continues to pass by my emotions are noContinue reading “Stages of Grief: Grief Like An Earthquake”

One More Day with Your Loved One – What Would You Do Differently?

How many of us have wished for just one more day with our loved one? What would you do differently? How would you spend it? Were there things left unsaid? Or would you simply just hold one another and let the love in your heart fill in all the empty places within? This week aContinue reading “One More Day with Your Loved One – What Would You Do Differently?”

Remind Me You’re Here

I won’t ask you for reasons … I don’t need all the answers.  These were the words from a song in the night (Job 35:10) that I found myself tapping into my phone at 2:30 this morning. When I got up and plugged them into YouTube up popped the song, Remind Me You’re Here, byContinue reading “Remind Me You’re Here”

Who’s Your Daddy?

Remember the Titans is one of my all-time favorite movies for so many reasons. It’s based on the true story of African American coach Herman Boone, played by Denzel Washington and his attempt to integrate a high school football team in 1970’s Alexandria, VA.  There are so many reasons to love this movie the leastContinue reading “Who’s Your Daddy?”

Soothing the Savage Beast

I can’t believe it’s the beginning of October! Where has the time gone? It’s been the longest, shortest year of my life.  The year started off with such hope, then within a matter of a few weeks my life took a turn I didn’t see coming and changed the course of it forever.  I didn’tContinue reading “Soothing the Savage Beast”

Let the Truth Be Told

Lie number one: You’re supposed to have it all togetherWhen they ask how you’re doing, just smile and tell them, “Never better”Lie number two: Everybody’s life is perfect except yoursSo, keep your messes and your wounds and your secrets safe with you behind closed doorsBut truth be told, the truth is rarely told …I say,Continue reading “Let the Truth Be Told”

Another in the Fire

On these challenging days when my heart is so heavy from missing my girl and the tears are falling down my face I just want to crawl back into the safety of my bed, throwing the covers over my head.  I grow tired of the palpitations of my heart beating like a steel drum. AnxietyContinue reading “Another in the Fire”

King of My Heart

As the Fall begins to usher in cool, crisp mornings I’ve been thinking of years past.  For some reason there is something about the changing of the season that is causing me to become more reflective. Many thoughts and memories have been flooding my mind. Both the good and the challenging. I’m sure some ofContinue reading “King of My Heart”

He Knows

I sit here in the early morning listening to the sound of the wind chimes gently swinging off the back deck.  My Amazon Echo begins playing in the background. This morning she greets me with an email message from my girl, “I was just thinking of you today Mom and wanted to tell you thatContinue reading “He Knows”

Pandemic Grief

Who would have ever imagined in the year 2020 we would have experienced a worldwide pandemic? Wasn’t that something that only happened in the “old days”? I’ve been thinking about the strangeness of this year, specifically, how different it is walking through this grief journey in the middle of a pandemic. Walking through grief isContinue reading “Pandemic Grief”

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