The Emptiness of Grief

When I was growing up, if someone died, my mother would immediately head for the kitchen, where she would begin cooking a beautiful Italian meal of sauce, meatballs, and pasta. She’d then ask my father to drive her over to that person’s house so she could sit with them. Inevitably, when we arrived, the houseContinue reading “The Emptiness of Grief”

The Battle for Quiet Time

The older I get, time seems to be more elusive. The battle for quiet time has become my opponent. While walking this grief journey, there are times when every moment seems like a battle. So, what have the best Generals in the Army done when they are in a fight? They create a plan toContinue reading “The Battle for Quiet Time”

Compartmentalizing Grief: Are You a Waffle or a Spaghetti?

When my husband and I first got married, I remember reading a book called, “Men Are Like Waffles, and Women Are Like Spaghetti.” Funny title, isn’t it? But one I’ve never forgotten. While the grief journey continues to ebb and flow, recently, Melanie has been strongly on my heart. I came across some photos of herContinue reading “Compartmentalizing Grief: Are You a Waffle or a Spaghetti?”

Bereaved Parents Awareness Month

Every year the month of July is designated as Bereaved Parents Awareness Month. There was a time in my life when I never knew such a thing existed. However, now, as a parent who has a child who ran ahead to heaven, I’m all too painfully aware. At first, I wondered why we needed aContinue reading “Bereaved Parents Awareness Month”

Grief – A Lifetime Sentence?

Just like a person convicted of a crime and sentenced to serve jail time, is grief a lifetime sentence? If you ask any parent who has ever lost a child, the answer may likely be a resounding yes. Yet, some have lost spouses and have been able to move forward in life with another partnerContinue reading “Grief – A Lifetime Sentence?”

Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop

Without realizing it, it occurred to me that I have often lived my life waiting for the other shoe to drop. It doesn’t take a session being psychoanalyzed to know this comes from the fact that both my father and daughter died unexpectedly. When a traumatic death occurs, we face the unfortunate fact that ourContinue reading “Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop”

The Fight to Flourish

Grief work is hard. It seems absurd to make that statement because anyone who has suffered a loss knows how difficult this journey is. We don’t get through grief by happenstance. It takes work to walk this road. After losing my daughter, I read as much as possible as I tried to piece together theContinue reading “The Fight to Flourish”

Living on Earth with My Eyes on Heaven

Since Melanie ran ahead to Heaven, I’ve become more curious about the place that is now her home. Because that’s where my girl is, I want to know as much about Heaven as possible. As the years have passed, I realize I’m living on Earth with my eyes on Heaven.    Have you thought ofContinue reading “Living on Earth with My Eyes on Heaven”

Grief Impacts So Much More Than Our Hearts

When we think of grief’s impact on us, our emotions come to mind first. Sadness, loneliness, the desperate missing, and mourning of our loved ones. But really, it’s so much bigger than that. Grief impacts so much more than our hearts.  Tell me, do you feel tired all the time? Has your energy seem to haveContinue reading “Grief Impacts So Much More Than Our Hearts”

How Long Will the Pain Last

This is a frequent question among those who find themselves grieving. During the early days, pain is expected. Even as the weeks become months, there is an expectation and understanding that we are still in pain as we grieve the loss of our loved ones. But as time begins to move forward and the painContinue reading “How Long Will the Pain Last”

A Broken Heart Still Beats

When I was told that my daughter died, it took my heart a moment to catch up with the words my ears heard. The first thing I felt was shock, followed by numbness. I’m convinced this is the body’s way of protecting itself. Looking back on those early hours, I’m in awe that I couldContinue reading “A Broken Heart Still Beats”

International Bereaved Mother’s Day

Each year the week before Mother’s Day, the world observes International Bereaved Mother’s Day. This year it is on Sunday, May 7th. Who knew there was such a thing? I didn’t realize this until I needed to know.  We acknowledge this day because no matter what the circumstance surrounding the death of our children, we would chooseContinue reading “International Bereaved Mother’s Day”

Sympathy vs. Understanding

When it comes to grief and loss, what do you think is most important – to have sympathy or understanding?  According to Webster’s Dictionary, sympathy is a feeling of sincere concern for someone experiencing something difficult or painful. On the other hand, understanding is having knowledge about a subject or a situation.  When my daughter first ranContinue reading “Sympathy vs. Understanding”

Wishing for The Wayback

Today is Melanie’s birthday – her 4th one in Heaven. I thought I was going to fly right through this day – no problem! Hey, life is good. I’m feeling strong … until I’m not. It’s just a reminder that no matter how much time goes by our hearts will always be incredibly tender duringContinue reading “Wishing for The Wayback”

Even in the Broken Parts Hope is Never Gone

Recently I was thinking about the verse, “Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil for you are with me; your rod and your staff they comfort me.” Psalm 23:4 NIV. For those of us who have a loved one who ran ahead to heaven, we know what it’s likeContinue reading “Even in the Broken Parts Hope is Never Gone”

Accepting the Life We Didn’t Choose

When the world around you falls apart, and you’re completely blindsided by life, you may wonder, where is God? Does he even exist? While many may cry out to him, others may ask, where is he? Is he even here? If so, how could he let this happen? If you’re like me and are walkingContinue reading “Accepting the Life We Didn’t Choose”

Grief and Gratitude

When putting these two words together – grief and gratitude – it seems like an oxymoron, doesn’t it? Yet, as I continue learning more about the grieving process, it’s a term I’ve often heard used. There is a season when grief and gratitude can begin to co-exist sometime down the road. Gratitude during grief meansContinue reading “Grief and Gratitude”

Practicing the 3 C’s of Grief: Choose, Connect, Communicate

The grief journey isn’t a sprint; it’s a marathon. Like sprint runners, we will not get through our grief in 1 minute 20 seconds. Several friends have run the Boston Marathon, which takes months of rigorous training and preparation. They need to practice running short intervals, then slowly, they begin increasing the time of theirContinue reading “Practicing the 3 C’s of Grief: Choose, Connect, Communicate”

Anxiety & Grief – The Companion No One Wants

There seems to be much talk about anxiety lately. Everywhere I turn, there’s another post, article, or reel popping up. My pastor, Louie Giglio, who suffered from anxiety and depression, has been leading a great discussion about it (https://youtu.be/u8cVVQjL7II). I couldn’t be happier that a topic that affects thousands is gaining so much attention. AnxietyContinue reading “Anxiety & Grief – The Companion No One Wants”

A Firm Foundation Instead of a Slippery Slope

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been waking up with a song in my heart – the same song and the exact words, over and over. If you’ve been following me for any length of time, you know that music is one of the ways that God gives me hope and encouragement as I navigateContinue reading “A Firm Foundation Instead of a Slippery Slope”

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