The Aftershocks of a Holiday

I’m sure there are many of us breathing a sigh of relief this week.  Holidays are hard without our loved ones. There is so much anticipation and expectation associated with each one. Mother’s Day can be very bittersweet. Maybe you’re a person without a mother. Or maybe you’re a mother without your child.  Either way,Continue reading “The Aftershocks of a Holiday”

How a Mess Can Become Your Message

Have you ever asked yourself, Why Me? Perhaps you’ve wondered why your life has unfolded like it has. Do you feel as if your life is a mess? Maybe you’ve looked around and it appeared as if everyone around you seemed to be living their best life, except you.    I’m not suggesting we beginContinue reading “How a Mess Can Become Your Message”

Will Our Grief Really Last Forever?

When we lose someone we love I think it’s absolutely natural to feel as though our grief will last forever. I know I have felt that way and have voiced this exact sentiment to others who have lost loved ones. But will our grief really last forever? I believe the answer to that is aContinue reading “Will Our Grief Really Last Forever?”

Triggers: Reliving My Nightmare in Room 221

Recently I heard a local news report which involved the Medical Examiner who attended Melanie when she died. Apparently his parents and 19 year old son were murdered. Sadly he found them. Soon after hearing this I woke up in the middle of the night with a very heavy heart. There are still nights whenContinue reading “Triggers: Reliving My Nightmare in Room 221”

How Many Children Do You Have?

Sounds like a simple enough question, doesn’t it? Well, to most people it is simple. But, if you’re a parent whose child died this is no longer just a simple question. When walking this grief journey how do you answer the question, “How many children do you have?” How many of you remember the firstContinue reading “How Many Children Do You Have?”

Grieve With Hope: What Does it Mean?

I first heard the term “grieving with hope” when my pastor called the day after Melanie died. I didn’t recall hearing that before, but today I cling to it like my own personal life preserver. Why? Because it means I will see my daughter again. It means that this isn’t the end. I will getContinue reading “Grieve With Hope: What Does it Mean?”

Grief: Five Little Letters That Change Your Entire Life

As some of you know, I had a 20-year career with Delta Air Lines. It was a wonderful time in my life, and I thoroughly enjoyed this period of my professional career. It afforded our family the opportunity to take trips all over the world and create some beautiful memories. After Melanie ran ahead toContinue reading “Grief: Five Little Letters That Change Your Entire Life”

Anxiety + Fear = Grief: Still Figuring Things Out

After Melanie died, life as I knew it came to a screeching halt. Today, I’m still figuring things out. This grief journey continues to teach me things. Although I hoped I’d be much further ahead by now, I guess I’ll always be learning something about this road I didn’t choose to be on. I’ve alwaysContinue reading “Anxiety + Fear = Grief: Still Figuring Things Out”

Navigating Memories When They Bring Both Comfort and Pain

I’m a member of a few private grief groups for parents who have lost children to Substance Use Disorder. These groups have hundreds of moms and dads with this same shared experience. We can be there to comfort one another and it helps knowing we are not alone. As you would imagine, although we shareContinue reading “Navigating Memories When They Bring Both Comfort and Pain”

Life is a Journey – Not a Race

As some of you may know, I have been working on writing a book about my daughter and the grief journey I have found myself thrust into. I recently received the manuscript back from my editor and am in the process of completing the final updates and edits.  It’s been during this long process I’veContinue reading “Life is a Journey – Not a Race”

The Many Faces of Grief

Usually when we think of the word grief it implies a negative connotation, and quite honestly, I’m sure we can all understand why. Websters defines grief as, “deep and poignant distress.” During the early days of walking this grief journey I could think of nothing else other than the deep sadness and missing my daughter.Continue reading “The Many Faces of Grief”

When Does the Fallout End?

My Dad served in WW II.  After we visited Normandy and saw some of the area where these battles were fought in the trenches, I can better understand why he never wanted to talk about his time there. There are some days I feel a lot like my Dad. I feel like I’m on aContinue reading “When Does the Fallout End?”

Rebuilding From the Rubble

Recently a tornado ripped through a local neighborhood where we knew several families who had their homes destroyed. A few of the homes were decimated, but many others were left partially standing. There was something about seeing those homes that made me feel a strange sense of kinship with them. Since the death of myContinue reading “Rebuilding From the Rubble”

The Chain-Breaker

As I was eating breakfast the song, Chain Breaker by Zach Williams came on. I was immediately taken back to a place about 2 years ago when I watched Melanie perform an interpretive dance routine to this song. The dance was part of her graduation after completing a very tough and rigorous, long-term rehab program.Continue reading “The Chain-Breaker”

The Anchor

I have close friends who are avid sailors.  They love going out on the water, feeling the rush of the wind through the sails and the warmth of the sun on their faces.  Sometimes they take friends with them.  As close as we are, I inwardly pray they never ask us to be their guests. Continue reading “The Anchor”

The First Christmas

Here we are in this “Year of Firsts” getting ready to experience Christmas without Melanie. Have I ever had a Christmas without Melanie? Unfortunately, yes. We experienced several without her but this one will be entirely different. During those times when we could not celebrate together we would always speak by phone and visit onContinue reading “The First Christmas”

Nine Months

Melanie went on to heaven 9 months ago today.  I’ve been thinking about what a difference 9 months can make in a life.  It takes 9 months to bring a child into this world.  Oh, how elated I was when my girl was born!  It was a beautiful Saturday in April.  Once she decided itContinue reading “Nine Months”

Self-Care or Selfish?

As is typical of most women and especially mothers, we are always running around taking care of everyone else.  We have many roles and juggle so many things I think we could easily work for Barnum & Bailey!  Cook.  Taxi driver.  Social director.  Wife.  Mother.  Lover.  Friend.  Teacher.  Nurse.  Cleaning lady.  The list goes onContinue reading “Self-Care or Selfish?”

Can We Have A Retake?

This week I received an email from my son’s school reminding us of the date we could retake this year’s school picture.  It got me thinking.  A retake. A do over.  How awesome would it be if we could manage life’s challenges in such a simplistic way? Recently a friend asked if I relived theContinue reading “Can We Have A Retake?”

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