When we think of those who are grieving, we tend to lean more toward the negative. After all, what do grief and loss bring? Intense sadness, anxiety, depression, fear, and even anger. But hold on. If we take a moment to look closely at a person who is walking the grief journey, I believe we would see something else. We would see someone who perseveres, is courageous, strong, and highly compassionate. Even when we are down, we will not give up. Grievers are survivors!
According to Webster, a survivor is a person regarded as resilient or courageous enough to overcome hardship and misfortune; a person who has survived an ordeal.
Death and loss certainly qualify as an ordeal. Today, you may not feel like you’re a survivor of anything, but I encourage you to be kind and gentle with yourself. Give yourself all the time you need. One day, you’ll wake up, and that overwhelming heaviness you once felt will be slightly lighter. In the days when you had no hope and only saw darkness, light will begin to seep through the cracks.
Following are some attributes that show how grievers are survivors. We never see ourselves as others see us. Read on and perhaps you’ll see yourself in these examples:
• You keep getting back up every time life knocks you down.
• You do what needs to be done no matter how you feel.
• You are the kind of person who would get up in the middle of the night to help a friend.
• You see what needs to be done, and you do it.
• You go above and beyond what is expected.
• You are resourceful and creative because you’ve had to be.
One of the ways that has helped me become a survivor is that I include my daughter in so many things. I live for her and remember her in the various things I do every day. While it’s often done with a tear and a hint of sadness, there is also joy in the memories where we continue to keep her alive.
On the days when you feel more like a dishrag than a survivor, hand it all over to God. He’s the one who can calm the uneasiness and unrest in your heart. When this mama’s heart is wrestling with my girl no longer being on this earth, He reminds me this isn’t our home. One day, he will wipe every tear from our eyes, and we will all be together again. (Revelation 21:4)
I love this post!! Thank you for the reframe. My grandmother told me in my early twenties through tears in her eyes “you are too young to be experiencing such pain”. It’s so easy to forget that what shows up as a life full of hard/failling short is a life that’s endured through the pain!!
So glad it touched your heart and helped reframe some of the hard. Hugs to you, my friend. 🫂💜