Just like a person convicted of a crime and sentenced to serve jail time, is grief a lifetime sentence? If you ask any parent who has ever lost a child, the answer may likely be a resounding yes. Yet, some have lost spouses and have been able to move forward in life with another partner and often remarry. So, is grief a lifetime sentence?
Is the main difference, then, the relationship? Child loss vs. spousal loss? What about parental loss? Each loss is important in and of itself but can also be vastly different.
Loss happens every day, but when put in such a way as to label grief as a lifetime sentence, it can sound hopeless – and I believe there truly is hope during loss.
Losing a loved one is heart-wrenching, no matter what the relationship. But people are forced to handle it. What other choice do we have? Grief is not easy, but we continue to live and breathe every day. We have to choose to keep moving forward and learn how to survive without our loved ones beside us.
There are days when we are walking on clouds. Light and airy, with no care in the world and the sunshine at our backs. Our future looks bright, and we can smile again and think about a time ahead without such extreme sadness.
Then, there are days when walking through this grief journey, it feels as if we are walking through quicksand. It’s like we’ve been covered with the heaviness of a wet blanket with no relief in sight.
Grief feels like a lifetime sentence on those days when you feel as if every step you take is like a cement weight around your ankles, and you’re back at square one. As hard as these days are, we must not give up. This is all part of the process, and the walk called grief. Some days all you can do is survive.
Those who have gone before me have confirmed the most challenging days of grief aren’t life sentences. You must go through the hard and heavy days to get to the brighter and better days ahead.
It is possible for our hearts and lives to be restored. It won’t ever be exactly as before, but there is healing within the tears and hurt of loss. I care deeply about you and your grief and always send love and prayers for comfort and peace.