When we think of grief’s impact on us, our emotions come to mind first. Sadness, loneliness, the desperate missing, and mourning of our loved ones. But really, it’s so much bigger than that. Grief impacts so much more than our hearts.
Tell me, do you feel tired all the time? Has your energy seem to have vanished? Does your mind wander, and you can’t remain focused? Do you walk into a room and wonder why you even went there?
If this sounds familiar and these things are happening to you, be encouraged. There is nothing wrong with you. My friends, this is grief!
I used to say I was like the Energizer Bunny. I could go-go-go from one project or activity to another. When Melanie ran ahead to heaven, it was like all my energy went with her and I was perpetually exhausted. For months I couldn’t figure it out. Thankfully, after confiding in my grief counselor about some of the things I was going through, she was kind enough to tell me this was quite common when grieving.
So, what can we do? First and foremost, be kind and gentle with yourself. Give yourself grace. Although I doubt I’ll ever be the Energizer Bunny again, it does get better. Today, I no longer over-schedule myself. I have learned how to say “No, thank you. I’d love to, but I can’t.” I try my best to get a good night’s sleep even though it’s still a challenge some nights. The 3:00 a.m. wake-up call is still a real thing. Some people are great at napping, but this is not an option for me as I work full-time, but if you can, I’m a big proponent.
Before grief came into my life, I was a Queen of Multi-Tasking. Well, those days have changed. I’m no longer a Queen but perhaps now I’ve managed to at least keep Princess status! 😉 I have developed alternative habits to assist with the brain fog which accompanied my grief. I write things down much more often than I did before. Also, I do it immediately and don’t rely on my memory because if I don’t, the thought vanishes into thin air like the wind!
This used to worry me. I thought I was getting early-stage Alzheimer’s. Now I give myself grace. I don’t add this to the list of worries, although anxiety and worry are undoubtedly two others I could add to the list of things that have impacted my life since I’ve been on the grief journey.
Ultimately, grief truly impacts so much more than our hearts. We are human and shouldn’t be so hard on ourselves. The grief journey is chock full of twists and turns on any day. Every day try to give yourself quiet time – just for you! I begin each morning with quiet time for Jesus and me. Placing my hope, faith, and trust in Him makes a difference in my walk. He can do all that I cannot do for myself. He is able! Wishing you a peace-filled day.
4 thoughts on “Grief Impacts So Much More Than Our Hearts”
After losing my son to his addiction in February of this year,, I have found This is so true.
Bob, I’m deeply sorry for the loss of your son. The disease of addiction is a tough one and unfortunately often brings with it so much stigma. My daughter also died from this disease. Perhaps my book, Beautifully Broken: Finding Hope During Loss will help bring some comfort as you walk the grief journey. Sending hugs and prayers for comfort. 🫂💜🙏
I am so sorry you had to become part of this group. The dues we have to pay to join are extremely overwhelming .
It will be 4 years in July. It doesn’t really get any better. A part of your heart is always torn out. I still feel actual pain in my chest just like I did when it first happened. I don’t think that ever goes away. I have tried to bring some sort of happiness into the situation for my grandson. I occasionally buy him one dollar lottery tickets. And before we scratch them off, we brush them against daddy’s picture. I said to him, “we gotta get some good karma”. Now, he and his cousins always remember to do it. Even if they don’t win anything they know they’ve got that good karma going for them. But, surprisingly enough, they do win, more than you would think. They have fun with it. That’s what’s important. And it keeps his daddy active in all their lives.
I also play his favorite songs on the piano, We sing together . And then sometimes we laugh at how terrible our voices sound. I grasp for anything to bring a little bit of joy.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Sending hugs and prayers for comfort and peace. 🫂💜🫂