How Long Will the Pain Last

This is a frequent question among those who find themselves grieving. During the early days, pain is expected. Even as the weeks become months, there is an expectation and understanding that we are still in pain as we grieve the loss of our loved ones. But as time begins to move forward and the pain is still present, unrealistic expectations begin to set in. People around you may wonder, how long will the pain last? As a fellow griever, I asked myself this same question.

It’s helpful to gently remind ourselves that grief has no time limit. I once read something that summed up exactly how my heart felt, and I’d like to share it with you today.  I hope it touches your heart as it did my own.  

“How long will the pain last?” a broken-hearted mourner asked me. “All the rest of your life, “I answered truthfully.  No matter how many years pass, we remember. The loss of a loved one is like a major operation; part of us is removed, and we have a scar for the rest of our lives. 

This doesn’t mean that the pain continues at the same intensity. There is a short while, at first, when we hardly believe it. It is rather like when we have cut our hand, we see the blood flowing, but the pain has not yet set in. So, when we are bereaved, there is a short while before the pain hits us. But when it does, it is massive in its effect.  

Grief is shattering. 

Then the wound is healed, so to speak, the stitches are taken out. The scar is still there, and the scar tissue, too.  As the years go by, we manage. But the pain is still there, not far below the surface.  

We see a face that looks familiar, hear a voice that has echoes, see a photograph in someone’s album, and it is as though the knife were in the wound again. But not so painfully and mixed with joy, too. Because remembering a happy time is not all sorrow; it brings back happiness with it. 

But the thing to remember is that not only the pain will last, but the blessed memories as well. Tears are the proof of life.  The more love, the more tears.  If this be true, then how could we ever ask that the pain cease altogether. For then the memory of love would go with it. The pain of grief is the price we pay for love. ~ Author Unknown ❤️

After reading this, I hope your heart will feel a little lighter. Be kind and gentle with yourself. Even though the scars will remain, my prayer for each of us is that one day the beautiful memories of our loved ones will overshadow the pain. I hope you will take a moment and listen to the words to this song and remember, you are not alone.