Grief: The Price We Pay for Love

When researching grief there are hundreds of quotes to draw from, yet I believe there is none that so aptly describes it as this:

This quote is from none other than Queen Elizabeth II who passed away last week at the age of 96. As a beloved leader for over 70 years, she certainly had opportunity to witness both love and loss in life.

I was moved when reading of the Queen’s personal faith in God. She did not hide her light under a bush but spoke openly about it. This is one of the reasons I admired her so.

While the grief journey continues to be a tricky road to navigate, I take comfort in knowing that grief truly is the price we pay for love. On those days when I may feel particularly sad I reflect on this and remember I wouldn’t have it any other way. I loved my daughter in life, and I still love her, even in death. The love hasn’t gone away nor lessened over time and I can’t imagine it ever will.

Grief is the price we pay for love.

Have you had well-meaning family or friends tell you that it’s time to move on? After a period of time has passed, there are oftentimes expectations which are thrust upon us. One of the most common is that enough time has gone by, and we should be over our grief. Let me simply say, there is no time limit for grief.

Grief is the price we pay for love. Yet, while we walk this grief journey we can still move forward in life, experiencing both joy and grief at the same time.

For those who have lost a spouse, there are many thoughts on how to move forward in life. Please note that I did not say, moving on. Moving forward and moving on are very different.

Recently, I was speaking with my friend, Tom who lost his wife to the disease of Alzheimer’s. It’s been 3 years and Tom still wears his wedding ring. Is there a time or moratorium on when a spouse should remove their wedding ring? I think this is a very personal and individual decision. My mother wore her wedding ring until the day she died even though my dad had been gone for 30 years.

Tom remembers his dear wife, Mary Ellen and their life together every, single day. He explained that even though his wife is not physically here, wearing his wedding ring makes him feel connected to her.

As we all walk this journey called grief, let us endeavor to lift and hold one another up as we walk together. Each of our stories though similar are as individual as our fingerprints. How I am managing through the grief of my daughter may not be exactly how you would handle it.

I have a dear friend who leaves a message to her child on his Facebook page every night. It’s a way for her to talk with him. What a special way to remain connected to her beautiful boy.

Let us remember the words of Queen Elizabeth, grief is indeed the price we pay for love. Let us move forward with kindness, love, and respect, leaning into Jesus, the one true rock and strength of our lives. It is there we will find our hope during loss.