As I begin to pack away the Christmas ornaments on the tree my mind begins to think about the new year that looms in front of me. For grievers, many are thankful to have made it through Christmas and now we have New Year’s and all the worldly celebrations in front of us. Tell me, is your New Year filled with hope or dread?
On one hand as the calendar turns the page and another year is before me I have a stirring of wonder in my spirit. What new and exciting things will we do as a family this year? What will the Lord unveil to me in 2022? What fun places may we be able to travel to this year? Will Beautifully Broken, (https://hopeduringloss.com/beautifully-broken/) make a difference and touch people’s hearts?
On the flip side of wonder, there are the thoughts of dread that run rampant through my mind, but none more so than this – as the new year beckons I know that soon thereafter the second anniversary of Melanie’s death will be staring me in the face. Weeks in advance and I’m already anticipating the day with dread. There is no way around it, and no way to avoid it. Yes, this is grief and it’s part of the journey we all must travel.
As the page on the calendar turns I have made a decision. If I must be on this journey then I am choosing to do so with as much peace and joy as I can surround myself with. Am I kidding myself? No, I’m certain there are days I am going to fall, but on those days I will crawl into the lap of my Heavenly Father. It’s in this place I can hand over my grief, my anxiety, my fears, and all my sadness. It’s in this place where I can find peace once again.
Whatever the new year brings I will face it head-on knowing I am taking my girl with me every step along the way. I’m not leaving her behind but bringing her with me. I will allow myself to remember the times she was here, and smile or cry, or both.
May this New Year bring you peace and joy and may it bring you closer to knowing, no matter what, there is hope during loss.