In just 3 short days it will be Christmas. I thought my heart was prepared to celebrate my second Christmas without my girl, but that’s simply not the case.
Although God continues to heal my broken heart, no matter how much time passes by there really is no preparation to escape the loss we feel for those who are no longer with us.
My morning routine always begins by spending quiet time with the Lord, along with reading from a couple of my favorite devotional books. Today I picked up one I don’t read on a regular basis, Seeing Beautiful Again by Lysa TerKeurst. I found myself drawn to one that talks about when God gives you more than you can handle. How many of us have felt this way?
When we feel as if we cannot take one more step or tolerate yet one more thing happening in our lives, what can we do? We can run. We can hide. We can ignore it, or we can turn it over to God. As I read the following excerpt it made me think about how I was choosing to deal with my grief this week:
“He doesn’t expect us to handle this. He wants us to hand it over to Him. He doesn’t want us to rally more of our own strength. He wants us to rely solely on His strength.” Lysa
I don’t know about you, but I want to see beautiful again. My hearts desire is to be whole and healed and not be a fragmented shell of myself. I don’t want to walk under the weight of anxiety and stress, but peace – that peace that surpasses all understanding. Is it possible to achieve this after suffering loss and walking this long, arduous grief journey? Because of my faith I totally believe it is, with Jesus by my side.
There may be days when the roller coaster life of grief will continue to throw me into unexpected twists and turns, but I firmly believe one day I am going to see beautiful again. In the meantime I will continue to hand over to God all the things I don’t understand and rely on His strength instead of my own. It may not be easy walking this grief journey, but I refuse to give up, no matter how much time goes by.
May the peace of God touch each of your lives this Christmas ~ With His Love, Pat