There was the day when I was always her safe place. Her harbor. The place she would run to when troubled. I was always the one she called when there was a concern, a problem, or a question. We were connected, she and I. When she was in trouble I knew before she told me. It didn’t matter how easy or difficult the situation, I was the person she counted on and ran to. I was her cheering squad, her defender, her home.
This weekend during my quiet time with the Lord these thoughts and memories began to swirl around in my heart and mind. Then that still small voice quietly rose up within me…
Jesus is her safe place now. He is her Prince of Peace. Her Counselor. Her Almighty Father.
Once again, the Father knew what I needed to hear.
As I began to wrap gifts this weekend I came across several holiday bags with Melanie’s name on them. There was an automatic catch in my throat as the tears began to gather in my eyes. For a moment I began to think about all the holidays we would never share, all the gifts for her that would never fill those pretty bags. I was no longer her safe harbor. My arms were no longer the ones she would run to.
It was then I realized that although I was no longer Melanie’s safe harbor, she was in the safest harbor of all. Heaven. Who better than the Prince of Peace to take care of my girl until we meet again?
When missing her begins to overwhelm my heart I remind myself that God has never left my side. He is walking with me through the valley and is lifting me up along the way. I know my girl is smiling down on me, cheering me on. Her voice reassuring me, “I’m alright Momma. I’m happy and at peace. One day you’ll see. Please don’t be so sad. I’m OK.”
She’s truly home now, in her safe place where there is no fear, no doubt, no sadness, no feelings of unworthiness. She’s getting ready to celebrate Christmas with the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. How amazing will that be?
I cannot imagine the transition of letting go of my child and allowing them to be cared for solely by God. Mighty all powerful God, but in another place all together. Out of our sight and sound. You share with us the vulnerable and tender thoughts of grief in such a way that we cannot help but feel some of the pain of what you live with every day. No doubt the holidays have turned up the volume on that pain. I wish very much that you wouldn’t have to go thru this my friend, but I have to trust God with your grieving heart. I wish I could fix this for you, and heal all the pain that this disease of addiction has brought to you & your family for too many years. I rejoice that Melanie is no longer in the grips of addiction, but my heart breaks for you that Melanie’s ultimate healing has brought you such heartbreaking sadness.
@kathleenmclendon 💜💜💜 Thank you for your heartfelt words of support and understanding. This journey is not one I would wish on anyone. Each day I continue to place my hope and confidence in the only one who knows and sees all. Somehow He will turn this into His good. 💜💜
What a beautiful reflection and sharing Pat on times past with Melanie. She is safe and in the loving arms of her heavenly Father. The tree ornament with the phrase “I’ll hold you in my heart until I hold you in Heaven” is especially poignant and meaningful. I will be thinking about you and Melanie this Christmas Day. May your day be peaceful and hopeful through your sadness. Blessings and love, Jean Fields
Thank you, Jean. 💜