Hello Friends, I know I’ve been pretty quiet recently. God’s been doing some much needed work in my heart and I’ve been using this time for self-care.
The last few weeks have left me feeling a lot like a jigsaw puzzle, and I’m not talking about that moment when you triumphantly put the last few pieces into place. No, I’ve been feeling more like the 1000 piece puzzle you dump out in the middle of your table and then begin the task of sorting through the big messy pile of broken pieces.
This grief journey is no walk in the park, though I sure wish it was. Some days it’s hard to remember the person I was before Melanie went on to heaven. Thankfully, I serve a God who is gracious, loving and merciful. He is the one that formed me in my mother’s womb and says that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Because He made me He alone knows how to put me back together. I’ve been spending a lot of my time with Him, journaling, reading the word, walking and just being still. Sometimes pulling back into a quiet place and being still is the best thing to heal one’s heart. (Psalm 46:11).
Just like the puzzle, I have found that I can sometimes be a jumbled mess, but I am confident it will all become beautiful again one day. Melanie wrote a poem last year that she was so excited to share with me. The first line says, “I am broken but beautifully made.” Yes, my sweet girl, we all certainly are.