This week I received an email from my son’s school reminding us of the date we could retake this year’s school picture. It got me thinking. A retake. A do over. How awesome would it be if we could manage life’s challenges in such a simplistic way?
Recently a friend asked if I relived the day Melanie went to heaven. Did I think about it over and over again? This question opened the door for a deep-hearted conversation about those last hours before I was certain she was gone from this world. But more importantly, we talked about what I had learned that day and how it continued to impact my heart and mind.
As much as I wish it were possible, you can’t unhear or unsee things, no matter how much time passes. After reading police and autopsy reports, which were graphic enough for any James Patterson novel, I have formed a picture in my mind of my girl’s last moments. It’s not of the beautiful girl I knew and loved.
I’ve heard from many bereaved parents, especially those who suffered from SUD and learned their heartbreaking stories, to know this is true for so many. What enters our mind, eyes and heart then creates images which we are oftentimes haunted by.
Why has it taken me this long to realize that I don’t have to allow the enemy to torture my mind and heart this way? I don’t have to relive those memories! I have other pictures and memories to draw from that are so much more beautiful!
As a Believer we can bring our heartfelt prayers and requests to the feet of our Heavenly Father. Prayer is our greatest weapon!
I have asked the Lord to give me a retake. If you would also like to retake the current picture you hold of your loved one, please join me in this simple prayer and allow God to renew your heart and mind.
“Father, in Jesus name I thank you that we can come to you anywhere and at any time. You are our greatest weapon, Lord. You hear our heart’s cry and we know that nothing is impossible with you. I am asking you to renew my mind and heart. Thank you for giving me the retake I need to live this life peacefully. Instead of dwelling on the last moments of my child’s life I thank you for giving me a retake, a new picture. One of the beautiful young woman she was in you. Thank you that the picture I will now hold near to my heart is of beauty and the happy moments she lived, not died. No matter how I may feel, your word and promises are true. You are creating a path through the wilderness and streams through the desert. Thank you for loving me and healing my heart and mind, in Jesus name.”