Ashes and Grace

Questions, questions, and more questions!  I’ve had plenty of them since Melanie went to heaven.  “Is this it? Is this the end of her story?  Am I supposed to be filled with this sadness and grief for the rest of my life? Is this what’s become of me? What now? Surely, there must be some reason or purpose, Lord.”  

It’s taken some time but I’m finally coming to a place of peace with most of my questions. As a self-proclaimed control freak, I have found myself wanting to reclaim what little control I actually have left of my own life.  Which begs another question, “Do we really have control at all?”

Over many months as I continued to contemplate all the changes and upheaval this grief journey has brought to my life a song by Tauren Wells, God’s Not Done With You, seemed to always find its way to me.  Whether on the car radio, Alexa, YouTube or even in a store, the song appeared to follow me everywhere! As I listened to the words, I began to see a reflection of what was being stirred deep within my heart, along with what began to feel like answers to some of those remaining questions.

Right now all you see are ashes
Where there was a flame
Truth is that you’re not forgotten
‘Cause grace knows your name

Have you felt lost and forgotten?  Friends and family seem to go on with their lives when your life has taken a major detour into a dark ditch. When you find yourself on this grief journey it’s easy to focus on the ashes and what’s left of your heart. Loss and death are devastating.  But there is hope during loss. We will never be the same as before, but God can and will create a new path. If all you see are the ashes, LOOK UP!  Grace knows your name!! You have not been forgotten!

God’s not done with you
Even with your broken heart and your wounds and your scars
God’s not done with you
Even when you’re lost and it’s hard and you’re falling apart

Even on the hardest of days and in the middle of the tears, I encourage you to cling to God who promises us He will turn this into something good. (Romans 8:28). There are so many people like me and you.  Grieving. Hurting. Questioning.  I have found I’ve been able to walk this grief journey in a more peaceful manner when I stop trying to control everything and relinquish control to the One I can trust.  Doing so allows Him to truly lead me beside the still and quiet waters.

There’s a light you don’t notice
Until you’re standing in the dark
And there’s a strength that’s growing
Inside your shattered heart

I encourage you today to lean in. 

God’s not done with you
Even when you’re lost and it’s hard and you’re falling apart
He’s not done writing your story…He’s not done with you

Published by pat

Mom. Wife. Honey. Jesus-Girl. Love to travel, cook, make beautiful things grow and spend time with family & friends.

4 thoughts on “Ashes and Grace

  1. So true Pat, God is not finished with us until we draw our last breath here on earth. I too have learned that I have little control especially of others. My children have been my best teachers regarding this truth. I have learned to turn my need for control over to our dear Lord, this frees me of stress and anxiety. Jean

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